new year, 2013, one minutes 20 seconds to go. what a way to bring it in, outside of the hard rock. an amazing crowd. a little chilly and rainy. no one seems to care. the fray was absolutely amazing. and again, you see that big red note up there? that's going to drop. 115 feet down. and we are going to ring in 2013, brooke. here we go. 52 seconds to go. and we are bringing in 2013. no one cares that it's raining. here we go. >> we're looking at both the screens. new orleans on the left-hand side. nashville here on the right. >> 30 seconds to go. 30 seconds to go. you've got the fleur-de-lis, you've got the fleur-de-lis, really the symbol of this city

here in louisiana. the symbol of new orleans. as we're going to watch that begin to drop. i'm cheating and looking over my shoulder. 17, 16, 15 -- watch. new orleans, nashville as we ring in the new year. let's listen. >> eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! happy new year! [ cheers and applause ] happy new year, new orleans! >> two -- one -- happy new year! happy new year, new orleans! ♪ ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> you are looking at nashville, i am looking here in new orleans. it's amazing firework s over th mississippi. i have a feeling the party has only begun. happy new year to all of you and thank you for inviting me and the rest of the cnn crew in to celebrate your new year with you. thank you very much for my champagne. and for the king cake. contributed to us, because mardi gras around the corner. it has been amazing! happy new year. we'll see you next year. now this --

tonight, my favorite and most talked about interviews of the year. >> the most important thing to remember is i did not punch the guy. >> superstars. >> we have this amazing job. to show up and be prepared. >> scandals. >> any excuse i make, whether it bass a rough time in my life, people there until my life, it matters. >> and maria, she's didn't truly the only love that i ever, ever had. >> the loss. >> you're not pronouncing it correctly. it's 50 shades of chartreuse. >> i looked terrible before. >> the stories that shocked us. >> if you want to get out, you get out. >> from heavyweights. >> i don't want to the beat him up no more. >> to the fastest human alive. without a doubt, the most explosive and dangerous interview of my entire life. >> where are you going? >> no, you're notte esintereste.

what the hell are you doing? >> piers morgan, the entertainers, starts now. good evening. this year i talk to some of the top entertainers in the world the people who make us laugh, cry, also make us think. everyone is also a lot of fun. tonight you'll hear from some of my favorites. we begin with a man who was once so famous for his outburst, and now an nbc's "30 rock". he is, of course, alec baldwin. your relationship with the media is fascinating, because you've always been very good copy for them and you sort of play the -- occasionally you just blow up, and now permanent raging with them. why do you have such conflict

with them? >> i don't think i really do have any conflict in the sense that, that guy you're talking about, that photographer, the most important thing to remember is, i did not punch the guy. and the guy was overheard going by people going, there's a good one. yeah, i like that. ooh, i like that. going through his film on the camera. then goes down to the police station and the charges are dismissed. i don't think i have a d.a. or police department in my pocket. they didn't believe the guy was struck, dismissed the chargesened's no charge there. >> i know you get much more attention than a would, but whenever i come across these guy, these blokes follow you around with a video. i find it a necessary part of the business. it's like -- >> that's, of course, opinion. >> it's attacks. attacks on show business. >> you have a very different

opinion that i do. my attitude is, the business would be infinitely better if all of them were gone? >> really? >> if i could press a button tomorrow and flush them down some sewer vortec, i would do it. where's the button? hand it to me now. >> here's the deal, you can never have anymore publicity in any newspaper or magazine for anything you do. >> that's not really practical. you and i both know, we will have publicity. listen, i'm not opposed to -- even though i'm not ecstatic, i think it deepens, demystifies show business. the ones you typically call, this kind of gotcha journalism, that's one i think we can all do without. last time you were on the show, i got great feetback to the back story that you bring before you even get toic makin movies. the one thing i came away from,

you had, in changing your life around, the work ethic you brought to everything you now do is incredibly impressive and nothing does it better than this. seth talked that particular scene, astonishing. not much he can't do. extremely versatile, surprising. such a humble guy, and i'll show you that. you're not like, look at me. i can do this. an amazing thing that you can do that kind of scene in one hit. it shows proper dedication. >> well, it's your job. i've worked with many actors paid a lot of money, show up and they don't know their lines. >> any names? >> yeah, i'll tell you about them next time. after the show. but it's frustrating to me, because, you know, you're getting paid a lot of money. you have this amazing job. just show up and be prepared. you know? just work with russell crowe and the guy is such a pro. i mean, were e had pages and pages of monologues, and the guy just, every single time. >> the best prepared, i wouldn't expect you to dish the dirt on

the underprepared. who the ones you look at, that's where it's i want to be. >> russell crowe is extremely prepared. robert duvall is, consummate professional. show business, was part of the allure being famous? when you look back tock it. >> this is true of a lot of comedians and i've talked to other comedians and heard them say the same thing and i defy anyone to deny this. for most of us, it's getting girls to notice us. it really is, and it's -- it's still probably on some level, very happily married, two kids, but there is something initially especially in those early days, you notice -- you go through the checklist in your mind, what do i have that might interest a girl? and i didn't have much. i would go through the list. i'm not a good athlete.

this, that, my skin's not -- go down the list. the hair's a little silly. the names weird, and then i got to, they laugh. i joke around and they hang around a little bit. so probably that's the initial -- if i'm going to be brutally honest it was just to get -- >> just to get girls. >> i don't even -- not to "get them." to get them to look in my direction. i'm taking it down to a much more basic level. you know? >> aaron, you said i feel like a little news outlet about the ka aboand kating the responsibility. you got to live in the, if you go through high if a looting, what your show does, it doesn't rate, if it's not big, breaking news. i can tell you from a hard

unpalatable, it's true. how do you tackle that? you've had your toes dipped in other water for a while. >> first, let me back up and say i don't have to live in the real world. i'm a fiction writer. so i get to write, you know, a democratic administration that can get things done. and i get to write about a very idealistic newsroom where these guys reach unrealistically high so they fall down a lot, but we're still rooting for them anyway, but there's no question that the, the antagonist in this show is -- doesn't come so much in the form of a person, although that's the real, jane fonda plays in this that chris messina play, it's ratings. that if we have a problem in this country with the news, it's at least as much the consumer's fault as it is the provider's fault. b

this show doesn't live in the real world. seems like it does, because it's set behind the backdrop of real news. never fictional news. the characters are all fictional, not based on anybody. i know you're going to get to that question. later. but it's -- they -- they're constantly referencing don key ody and bring doon and camelot and atlantis, camelot and these are imaginary cities. >> it's the happy ending. the swashbuckling, he said. aaron told me when he started this, he goes, by the way, if you're in here to be likable all the time and -- you know, it ain't going to work that way, because you're going to fail. will is going to fail miserably weekend we do. just like the tv journalists say they're going through. >> it's quite a spectacular [ bleep ] on the way as well.

>> thank you. thank you very much. >> why i like you so much. behind the music, tell their stories. >> i was about to ask you, how many times you'd been properly in love in your life? >> the past is just a blur to me now, piers. it's all just a blur. now is the time. now is all that matters.

aside from a bruising encounter with one director on twitter i genuinely enjoy talking to new artists. and those who define a generation. then there are those rare occasions when i can ask a singer which of his songs or her songs means the most to them. ♪ hello that was terrible. >> oh, my god. >> i should stick to "penny lover." what charisma, fascinating dude, love his funky stuff, not into the ballads. >> you know the answer to that.

he's not in love yet. as soon as -- >> that is true. no. listen. i can tell you the reviews. >> "dancing on the ceiling" until you meet the right girl. >> a reviewer for years, the reviews were sappy, syrupy, sticky, gummy, here's lionel again with another one of those songs. then all of a sudden he reviewed me 20 years later. lionel do you have another one of those amazing ballads. you're married now. two kids, and my wife and i were married -- truly until you fall in love you know nothing about what i'm talking about. >> have you ever made love to your own music? >> you have asked me -- who is this guy? you mean my first love was not enough? >> no! i need more from you. >> the answer is absolutely not. >> never? >> are you kidding me? >> a bit awkward? >> i love it when someone says, you know, do you whisper? >> of course, i do. are you kidding me? how tacky.

>> who is the biggest, most romantic sexual singer you've ever deployed? >> holy cow. that's pretty interesting. well, marvin gaye. >> has to be, right? >> has to be. i mean, marvin did it for me. >> i want to talk about a girl straight off the top. let's talk about the elephant in the room here, because you're one of the most famous country singers in the world and you're married to one of the most famous country singers ever. your husband and i have never met. i feel like i know him really well. the reason is for the last six years on "america's got talent" i've seen more acts murdering your husband's songs than probably any other musician or singer alive. if i had to hear one more version of -- ♪ if tomorrow ever comes it gave me severe earaches. i'd like to apologize to him through you for the massacring of his music. >> at least you have a connection with him. you massacred that yourself there. it was pretty bad.

>> trying to sing "hello" to lionel richie. that was a total train wreck. >> were you really trying? >> i like to make the guest feel like they're the star contrary to public perception. so i think with you and lionel, make you think you're better singers, gives you more confidence. >> an ego boost. that's nice of you. >> perk you up a bit. you sold 10 million albums? >> something like that. >> what's the worst song you've ever written? >> i don't even want to say it. >> one that makes you shiver. >> this is cnn. come on. for the cnn worldwide audience. your worst bruno mars song you have ever written, one that even now makes you come out in a weird sweat. >> me and my partner phil wrote a song called "bedroom bandit." that's all i have to say. that's all i have to say. >> i can't even imagine. how bad those lyrics are. >> if you had been in the studio, we thought we were going to win 18 grammys off this song.

we thought it was -- then the next day we call each other up, what were we thinking? >> you've been involved with songs about desperately wanting to be a billionaire. >> and that's the beauty about "billionaire." if you listen to the lyrics of it, it's really not about -- i mean, it is, and we touch on it a little bit. but why i wrote "billionaire" i wrote "billionaire" when i was flat broke. i just helped write a song for flo rida. the number one song for, i don't know how many weeks, and it was broke records, and i was flat broke. >> how? >> because -- well, i can explain all that. it was just -- it works differently for songwriters. songwriters, you have to wait for residuals, pray the song will be a hit and a year later you might get a check. >> so you're seeing this song go around the world, massive, huge, international hit and you're making nothing. >> and i can't buy a sandwich. >> literally? >> literally.

>> what is the song of all the songs that you've ever been involved with, what is the one, if i said, right, glenn, you've got five minute to live, you can play one song to be remembered by. the defining song. >> well, you know, i have my favorite records. >> what's your number one? >> i loved "one of these nights." i thought that was a really interesting song, cowboy r&b, fuzz tones instead of saxophones. great soul singer don henley. cool chord progression. mine. you know, that was -- and that was one of my absolute favorite eagles records. >> who of all the acts out there now, who's the one that excites you, the modern crowd? >> i love adele. you know. and i think -- i watch the the grammys this year, and the grammys, there was a lot of

glamour, a lot of dancers, there was a lot of flash, there was a lot of that. then adele came on. and everybody was dressed in black. and they only had white light on her. and she just stood there and burned. >> when we come back, my favorite sports interviews of the year. the men and women who inspire us with their quest to be the best. yes! yes! yes! >> oh, come on! >> yes! >> that was nice. you did good. you beat me.

anyone who knows me knows i'm a football fanatic. the round ball, the football. also attended the summer olympics in london and even made a bet with former president bill clinton on the ryder cup which he paid up for, by the way. this year i talked to the biggest names in sport about what it takes to be the very best and what it feels like to be a world champion. what a moment. for you, eh? the green jacket. can i touch it? >> yeah, go ahead. >> how does it feel? >> it feels nice. >> how does it really feel to be bubba watson right now? >> it's overwhelming. people like yourself wanting to talk to me. for me to come to new york and do these interviews and meet you for first time. it's a special time. >> why have you given me the big exclusive interview. somebody's told me the rather unnerving reason why. >> because when you were on this other show "america's got talent" you were a [ bleep ].

so i wanted to come here and make fun of you just like you make fun of everybody else. >> i heard that was the reason. it genuinely was, wasn't it? >> yeah. >> because i'm a [ bleep ]. i don't care how we got you here, i'll take it. >> how hard is it, mike, for people who have been at the top of boxes, with all the -- you get in there. with all the adrenalin rush, and the buildup and these fights for months and then you get in there and the public going crazy and then the actual fight, then suddenly it's all over. you don't have it in your life any more. >> yeah, then you go to drugs, too. you try to get that high again. but then you realize tall drugs, all the meth, all the cocaine, all the liquor, you can't produce that high no more. you can't produce that high. then you realize that high comes from within. you know. and for many of us, entertainers, just people with a

lot of money in general, we have to be all failed in that and we try to succeed and get happiness through substance. >> do you still -- last time i interviewed you you gave me the feeling that you're not completely confident that you won't blow up again. how do you feel now? >> i don't put myself in those situations. i never look at myself, this could never bother me again. once i think that way, i'm looking for my next hit. once i feel like this is how i think, i feel i'm the man again. i can never get high. any moment now i'm ready for the next line. that's just who i am. that's how much of an animal i am when it comes to drugs and addiction. i'm really a nasty animal. it's changed my life. i'm with my family. i'm learning how to be a functional human being in society. it is just so awesome. >> when was the last time you hit a man? >> i don't know. maybe three years ago at the airport. remember that ordeal in the -- >> with the photographer, yeah. good shot? >> yeah. no. i'm so happy because i was getting ready to hit him with the camera. i'm so happy i didn't hit him with the camera.

i wouldn't be here. i'm happy i didn't do that. >> i presume the paparazzi give you a pretty easy ride now, right? >> i know how to handle them now. i don't want to beat them up. just love them. just love them. the last time i saw you play for real was at wimbledon. it was about three years ago. you were playing a quarterfinal game, i think, against a tiny eastern european waif. it was the single most brutal thing i've ever seen on my sports arena ever. the number one court. >> now you're making me feel bad. >> you didn't feel bad at the time. but inwardly, i wanted to get on the court and rescue this poor girl. >> oh, no. >> it was a high form of brutality that was going on. you just obliterated her. but what i was struck by was the longer it went on, just the more ruthless you became. the more in the zone, the louder, the more physically empowering. it was the most impressive thing i've seen in sport for years. what do you feel when you're

going through that kind of process. >> yeah. >> you're in the zone and you're winning, what do you experience? >> well, when you're out there, you have to take the winner's attitude, as i do, and i can't go out there thinking i'm feeling sorry because they're trying to win, too. this is my job. my job is to go out there and do the best that i can at that moment in time, because you never know what happens tomorrow. what does it take to be a champion? not just any old champion, to be a great champion? >> well, it's just hard work. for me, it was just hard work and dedication. as i said, you just need a team because for me, i remember this year i was going on and doing well, doing well. then all of a sudden i got to the trials. i lost, and i was like -- and then i refocused, and i really talked to my coach, talked to me friends, talked to

my agent. and they explained to e moo, there's no need to worry. potential my coach. we have three, four weeks to go, one month. let's just put the work in, sacrifice a few things the and get it done. i did just that. >> what is it that motivates you the most now, the winning, being the champ, is it money, is it fame, is it the women? is it all of it, usain? >> it's everything. all a package. everything comes there. but for me, the fans are one of the biggest things for me. i really enjoy just going out and performing for the fans. the energy that they give me. >> when we return, so many scandals and one interview that went right off the rail. yes, i'm looking at you, robert blake. >> it's not about me, is it? >> yes, it is. because you open that door, charlie potatoes. i'm not going to sit here and let you or anybody else kick the [ bleep ] out of me without defending myself, and you can take that to the [ bleep ] bank, charlie. if you want to show me the door, that's fine, too. ied, have a couple of kids, [ children laughing ] move to the country,

and live a long, happy life together where they almost never fight about money. [ dog barks ] because right after they get married, they'll find some retirement people who are paid on salary, not commission. they'll get straightforward guidance and be able to focus on other things, like each other, which isn't rocket science. it's just common sense. from td ameritrade.

three big names. a scandal in tabloid headlines. each told me their sordid stories, only one had me actually fearing for my safety. here sr. an interview like none i'd ever done before and i hope i don't have the to again. my conversation with robert blake. do you remember the night that she died well or is it now something you've blocked out of your head? >> no. i remember it quite well. >> you went and had dinner at this restaurant. >> where are you going? >> i'm interested in what happened. >> no, you're not interested. . what are you doing? what the hell are you doing? >> let me help you. there's no one talking to me. okay? you haven't got a worry.

there's nobody talking to me. these are my questions for you which are based in my view -- >> now you want to know what happened that night? >> i'm curious, yeah. >> no, you're not curious. >> i am. because you were acquitted. >> i thought you said you researched all this, so you know what happened that night. >> ip know about the facts of the night. >> what? tell me about the facts of the night. >> you take your wife to dinner to a restaurant. >> go ahead. >> your wife goes to the car. you go back to retrieve, as you say, your gun, which is in the restaurant. and when you return, your wife has been shot dead. when they test the gun that you go and retrieve, that is not the same gun that killed her. am i right so far? >> so far. >> right. so i'm factually correct. i have no agenda here at all. you clearly think i do. i don't. >> it sounds boring as hell. but go ahead. >> i don't think it's boring, at all. your wife got murdered. >> your questions even what you just said, are you sure that the people at the back give a [ bleep ] about any of this? >> i think you're here because you've written a book about your life. >> there's a lot more to my life than that night.

>> but there's probably nothing more significant to your life than the -- >> [ bleep ]. >> really? than the murder of your wife? >> i didn't murder my wife. it may be significant to you. >> i didn't say you did. >> but it is to me. you said there's nothing more significant. >> than the murder of your wife. >> personally, it's not the most significant thing in my life. >> what is the -- >> the most significant thing in my life is when i was 2 years old and i found an audience. the next most significant thing is when i went to mgm as an extra and three years later i starred in my first film. you know, america just was going to war was the worst time in the world for america. but there's nothing more significant than a little boy with no parents, no friends, nothing, walking into mgm and three years later starring in his first film. you know how significant that is? no. because you've never lived my life.

it's my fault. there's no one else to blame for it. i wouldn't even begin to start pointing the finger at anybody because the reality of it is that i created it. i created my career and all those kind of things and the relationship, but i also screwed up badly. and i take the full blame for it, and the key thing now is, figure out how do i build all this back and how do i gain the trust of the children again and have a good relationship with the kids, which is so important to me. i love my kids dearly. and i love maria. i mean, i love maria. she has been truly the only love that i've ever had. and that's what is so pitiful about it. it's one thing if you have a situation like that and you say well, i was ready to get out of this situation anyway, out of this marriage, but that's not the case. she was the most perfect wife. and she was extraordinary. >> you've hinted in some of the

interviews you've given that you hope to get back with maria. in fact you've gone a bit further saying from her side that this may also be something that she may wish. do you inny there is a good chance you could get back together? >> i cannot speak for maria. she has to speak for herself. but i can only tell you that i hope that eventually we can rebuild the relationship and that we'll be together as one family. >> what people find most incomprehensible is that somebody as successful as you, somebody as rich as you, as politically motivated as you were at the time would take such an extraordinary risk. was it actually more complex, was the risk you were taking seemed like one of the safest risks you could take, somebody in your home that cue you could trust who wouldn't tell anybody? was it more of that? >> i would say that it makes no difference, you know.

it makes no difference what was going through my mind at the time. it doesn't clean up the mess. it doesn't soften the blow to my family. i mean, what i've done is just about the stupidest thing that any human being can do. before we get into politics and life and the universe, a certain story has bubbled up this week about you involving a certain videotape. >> yes, sir. >> how are you handling it? >> whew. well, it's the big, white elephant in the room we can't avoid. you take a deep breath. you have to make sure that you're honest because you have to be accountable. and you know, you address it and at the end of the day, you know, pray to god that those that love you and the people close to you, like your friends -- sometimes you don't even know if they're your friends, but your children and your wife, that's who you are. you get on situations like your

show, and one asks, and at the end of the day you realize it was a horrible choice. i am accountable. and any excuse i make whether it was a rough time in my life or the people that were there were my friends and they kind of like baited me to, none of that matters. it's just that you're accountable and honest. >> it must be very humiliating. have you ever been through anything quite like this where you actually have yourself having sex on a video that people are watching, especially in the internet age, how do you feel about that? >> never. and i've been through a lot of stuff. i've been through a lot of stuff with the federal government back in the '80s, the whole steroid controversy, divorce, i've been through so much stuff, but never have i ever been this embarrassed and never has my world been turned upside down in such a fashion. and without knowledge that someone would set a camera up. admitted. it's me. hey had i did that. >> coming up, the biggest names in music, whitney houston and dick clark. >> this is the beaver that bit your hand.

>> this isn't is same beaver, but this is the one that did it. exactly like this. did you ever touch a beaver? >> no. [ woman ] uh-oh.

[ male announcer ] when diarrhea hits, kaopectate stops it fast. powerful liquid relief speeds to the source. fast! [ male announcer ] stop the uh-oh fast with kaopectate. the world lost some beloved entertainers this year from larry hagman and andy griffith to davy jones of the monkees and adam yauch of the beastie boys. dick clark, the eternal teenager, and the tragic loss of whitney houston. >> i can tell you're angry about what's happened here. the blame game has begun. a lot of people want to blame bobby brown. a lot of people want to blame the music business. some people want to blame everyone.

what do you think? >> well, it's all of the above and a whole lot more. but it boils down to you. you know, i was introduced to certain people and to certain opportunities to use recreational drugs, and it boils down to whether i want to do it or not. and she was a strong-willed, strong-minded girl. and i can't say that it's anybody's fault. >> would she have ever gone down that route, do you think, without bobby brown in her life? >> well, if not him, somebody else. if she wants to get high, if you want to get high, you're going to get high. >> do you think she had that tendency anyway? >> i think that we all as artists, because we're highly sensitive people, and this machine around us, this so-called music industry is such

a demonic thing, it sacrifices people's lives and their essences at the drop of a dime. >> whitney houston was a friend of yours. you've been quite candid about trying to help her. you rang her or felt compelled to ring her on the night that michael jackson died. >> yeah. >> because they were similar age, similar kind of problems. you realized she may be going through turmoil over that news. tell me about that. >> it was -- and i hadn't talked about it publicly, actually. i'm surprised that you know that. how do you know that? >> i know everything, tyler. >> i called her that night and i had been trying to get her all day. and she had donny handleaway's "a song for you" blasting in the background. i was surprised she could hear me. we talk for a while.

she was really broken up about his death. i didn't know if she was thinking about herself. i was trying desperately to let her get me to come over to the house and sit with her to make sure she was okay. whitney in true fashion, after me trying ten different times. listen, i'm a mother and i'm a woman and i'm single, and you're not coming over to my house in the middle of the night. in a way that only she could. but it's beyond tragic. and i was so disgusted. i must tell you i was so disgusted at the media and the way that they handled her death. it was so blatantly disrespectful. the paparazzi -- see, this is what i mean about fame and even in death. trying to get her, just her body from the morgue to the plane. >> because you supplied the plane, didn't you? >> i did. i did. and there was -- it was beyond awful. i tell you, there was -- we tried to send a hearse as a decoy. they found out we had the body in a van.

and there are paparazzi 50 deep following the van. i had them move the plane into the hangar and close the door, bring the van in. one person, one of the hired drivers is trying to take pictures of them putting her body on the plane. it was just beyond disrespectful for her family and everyone else. and i understand she was a superstar, but she didn't deserve to be treated that way in the media toward the end, you know? you knew dick clark for 40, 50 years, i mean, an absolute legend of the business. put him in context, historical context. how important was dick clark, do you think? >> he was a pioneer. you know, in the early days of television with "american bandstand," he revolutionized music on television as we point the out earlier talking even before we went on. he had blacks and whites dance together. unheard of. a lot of young people watching would say, what? that's crazy. that was crazy then to put that on. risk-taking.

then he was involved in so many programs that the public didn't even know he -- >> here's the thing. i knew that you were responsible for this show alone before i came along for 7,000 shows. now dick clark apparently was responsible in all his guises for 7 1/2 hours thousand hours television. >> so many things he touched. business manager, owned a radio network, quiz shows, radio talk shows. he produced donny and marie. you're going to have donny on. he produced their television show. >> if you could bottle the dick clark magic, what would you call it? what was the secret ingredient that he had? >> he was a great generalist. he could do anything. he was very, very good. you wouldn't go around quoting dick clark. you know, there's no memorable

great moments, but he was kind of every man. he was there. he entered the room well. the camera liked him. he was gentle, he was kind, he was smart. he was revolutionary in music. for example, even as he aged, moe people get older, you and i -- i'm not saying you're old. we could not name the billboard top ten. >> but he could. >> he could name it. i'm sure he could have named it yesterday. >> next, happier moments, big stars playing it for laughs. three of my funniest guests of the year. >> i want you to kiss my chubby fingers in the way you just did in that clip. oh, my god, this is the most erotic thing that's ever happened to me. >> you poor baby.

in my career i've don head-to-head with world leaders, ceo and hollywood superstars. you never know when you sit down with a comedienne. what i like about you is you're a shameless plagiarist. you've taken the "50 shades of gray" and a book coming out, "50 shades of chartreuse." >> you're not pronouncinging it correctly. it's "50 shades of char trooutc"

>> i'm deciden 0 the subtitle. it's not a takeoff i just wanted to rip off the title because is that it was such a stupid book. >> you read it? >> i read the first seven chapters and then -- i know you imagine differently. i have several nights during the week, but i am not interested in that side, at all. >> seriously? >> are you? >> no. i don't want to get hit in bed. if you're going to hit me, do it out in the open. first of all, somebody does deserve to get hit it is me, but i don't want to do is sexually. >>manacles? >> no. what is that? obviously you know more than i do. >> i read the book. >> did you read the ent tire -- >> it's unreadable. >> it's really bad. >> why do women want -- no offense to the author. she's made billion, but one of the most badly books i've ever

read. >> why did you read it? >> pure curiosity. every woman i knew was reading it. i had to read it. i didn't get it. men would never read it in 1 million years. >> it's a phenomenon. i don't thing i profess to be one of the best writers, my books are silly but amusing to have degree. that was so poorly written and done. insulting to anyone's intelligence to read that, and then my friends who suggested i read it, i e-mailed, you should be ashamed of yourselves for finishing this type of book. it's a piece of trash. i can't believe the way you look, because we all fell in love back in britain with fat, chubby ricky. >> i was not fat. >> you were pretty fat. [ laughter ] and you drank a lot of beer. >> you didn't tell me then. >> people come up to me, you look fantastic. you should have said then, i'd have worked out faster. i had to find out myself.

i keep throwing out my trousers, another pair has shrunk. >> the fish and chip eating bigger guy. >> i still do that but i discovered working out. >> how much weight have you lost? >> not much at all. i think about 25 pounds, but -- >> that's quite a lot. >> but i've done it by, would go out. i still eat too much. i still drink too much, but the next day i punish myself in the gym. i work out like rocky and then i feel great. itic mas y it makes you feel better. >> even your teeth are gleaming. >> i haven't done anything. >> the smiling -- >> those free things in a luxury lounge once. those -- they made me gag. >> what made you -- what made you -- >> hold on. suddenly i'm fat and disgusting and didn't read my teeth. reading my history here. i had a few pounds, and the beard helps.

al the illusion. >> what made you go on this vanity kick? >> it wasn't a vanity kick. it was a health kick. tell you the truth. it was christmas, a couple christmases ago and i had 11 sausages and sat there feeling ill. the number of times i said, jane, i'm having a heart attack. i'm having a heart attack, and i thought, you know what? life is good. and i don't want to blow it. i don't want to go -- hold on. just -- what? so -- >> by the way, it wasn't just me, because this dashing feature in "men's health" magazine, a feature we'd never thought we'd see of you, a kickboxes richey gervais. he went from chubby loser to bad-ass comedic orter. his neglect act, losing the gut and gaining r. yeah. that's good news. i'm glad i lived this long to get to comedic otor.

otherwise, the death of a chubby comedian who doesn't clean his teeth and stinks, ricky gervais has died today, death by sausage. that's a prison term. cover. one of my favorite bits of this whole album is when you get together with the doors. >> yes. >> you perform "reading rainbow" and apparently it gets completely out of hand. i'd like you to play out the show with "reading rainbow" with you as jim morrison. >> so this is the doors, theme song, "reading rain." goofing off in my room going -- ♪ ♪ butterfly in the sky i can go twice as high ♪

take a look it's in a book ♪ a reading rainbow ♪ ♪ a reading rainbow ♪ i can go anywhere i can go anywhere ♪ friends, you know, way to grow, a reading rainbow ♪ ♪ a reading rainbow yeah ♪ the indian in the cupboard ♪ there's a monster there's a monster at the end of this book ♪